When You Feel Like a Mom Blogging Stepchild

Image Courtesy SideQuesting.com

It is going to happen to most of us at some point… you hear about an amazing opp opening up applications. You apply. You cross your fingers. You get rejected. You watch your friends that were accepted talking about what a great time they are having doing _____. Usually, this does not bother most of us. There are SO many bloggers out there, and usually programs open up only a certain number of spots, so everyone cannot make it. You might feel a little sad at first, but you get over it. You quickly move on and realize that there are always other opps.

But every now and then there is that one that just makes you feel like a stepchild when you realize that you were rejected. Why? Well… because of course you want to know why her and why not you? What can you do to improve yourself? What can you do to improve your blog? You want to do these things so next time you get picked. Unfortunately, it’s not likely that we ever find out why or why not.

Opportunities can come to us a couple of ways. We either apply, or we get approached to join programs. As a new blogger, you might feel a little apprehensive about stepping out and applying. And that is understandable. It is not a bad idea to get a lot of good posts, stats, etc. under your belt first if that makes you feel more comfortable. But, then again… you never know what they might be looking for, so take a chance. You just might get lucky. And if you don’t then you can remember that you are a new blogger and you just try again.

Over the past few years I have been lucky enough to have gotten some AWESOME opps with great companies. Because of this, when one slips by I usually do not let it phase me. But, I have to admit that there have been a couple recently that have phased me more than they should. In one case, some fellow blogging friends and I seem to always end up in the same groups. It makes sense because we are similar bloggers. We are in the same niche. And there are not that many of us, so if you look for that type of blogger, we are the first ones to pop up. We all applied for an opp that I believe was letting in 25 people. For the first time in who knows when, all 3 of us did not make it. They got picked, and I did not. A couple of other friends got chosen as well. Rumor has it that said company looked over the list of recommended bloggers, went through their bios and blogs and hand-picked who they wanted. So, of course when I hear something like that I can’t help but wonder “Why them and not me?” or “Was something wrong with my blog?” or “Did something in my bio turn them off?” Cause the opp was one right up my alley as I have done things like it in the past. But, apparently I just did not fit… to them. In cases like this is is only natural to wonder. Why? Because if something IS wrong, you should want to fix it. So, maybe the next time you won’t be the odd girl out.

I was going to write this up without names, but even if I don’t write the name of this one you will still know. Everyone would know. LOL! :) The second one that has me feeling like a stepchild is the fact that I did not get invited to the much coveted Disney Social Media Mom’s Conference. I have never gone. In 2010 and 2011 it was not invite only. I got the email to register, but I could not afford it even with the awesome rates that they offer so I had to let it go. So, I had decided months ago that this was going to be the year that I made it happen. My girls are 8 and my boys are 5. They know all about Disney World. They have been asking to go. I have promised to take them. But, I knew that there is no way that I can afford to take 6 people to Disney unless… you guessed it… it was through the awesome deal of the Social Media Mom’s Conference. I told my kids about it. I told them that I was going to register if they did it again this year so that we could go. But, I did not count on it being invite only due to changes from last year. And I did not count on not being invited. I was ready. I had the money. But, unfortunately… it was not to be. I tried hard not to care. But, I know that now I will likely have to wait another year to go unless I find some other awesome Disney family deal to go (or I fall into some money). Because buying hotel, park tickets, and most importantly… plane tickets for six people is NOT cheap! Some of the rumors were that people that did not get to go the previous years were invited. But that is certainly not the case. I have no idea how many invites there were. And I had tried real hard not to care. But all over Facebook and Twitter were people talking about how they cannot wait to see each other “again”. Oh well. Moving on…

So, what do you do when you feel like me??? Well, you keep on blogging. Blog more. Blog better. Get out there and show yourself. And remember, there is always another opp. Apply for more opps. Make your blog rock so companies take notice. Remember, every opp is not for everybody. Some companies may target foodie bloggers. Others may be for tech bloggers. Some will be for fitness bloggers. Defining your niche might help. Keep your eyes and ears open. And in the famous words of Dory, “just keep swimming!”

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  • Pinay WAHM Blogger

    Many of us felt like a mom blogging step child. Our reaction towards it will depend on how we accept the rejection. I’d rather look at it in a positive way. Let it be a lesson for me to make my work better. Like what you said, keep on blogging, blog more, and blog better. Opportunities in stored for us will come at the right time. :)

  • Susan

    Just wondering how you find out about the opportunities so you can apply for them?

  • Abcdefg

    I understand how you feel. Rejected and like you are in high school.  

    Unfortunately, the blogging world is sometimes like that – we’re all hoping to be the “chosen one”.  

    As you said, just keep plugging along and hope that one day “it’s your turn”.

    Have you ever been rejected by another Mommy Blogger. That feels even worse. Standing on the outside looking in. Hoping someone will accept you. You offer to help them just to be accepted. And no response. That’s rejection to the maximum level.

  • Trisha

    I used to think like that as a newbie blogger…over time I realized that events dont equal opportunities. I have been invited to many events, most of which I turn down because I cant leave my kids for a whirlwind 24 hour trip that ultimately ends up in my spending more time in an airport than with a brand. Then I am expected to come home and write about a brand and how great they are without compensation.

     I am telling you after four years of experience that of all the events I have been on, of all the conferences I have been to, my paid jobs and really large opps (commercials, mags, brand ambassadorships) come from 1) referrals from other bloggers and 2) good relationships with reps from past campaigns.  NONE came from a trip. Not one.

    Focus your energy on those you interact with on a daily basis and the rest will fall into place.

    trisha
    momdot

    • http://littletechgirl.com/ Kris Cain

      Trisha,

      Thanks so much for chiming in. :) I agree with you on the trips that in most cases they might lead to nothing. However I have 3 prominent relationships with big name companies that started only as a trip. Actually, one started as just me hosting a giveaway. And later when they were looking for bloggers to add to their program they thought of me.

      However, the first part of this post was not about being invited to an event. It was about an ambassador program. And I would never expect the Disney trip to *lead to* any $$, etc. so that is not really what this was about.My mother used to ask me why I go on trips if the people are not paying me. I finally explained it to her as “Think of it as a job interview. The company might invite you to lunch, invite you to visit their facility, or look around and meet people. They pay for your travel and food. You are not certain that you got the job, but you hope. And, if you make a good impression, they might just offer you that job or another that comes up that fits.” She finally gets it. I have turned down as many trips as I have attended. I’m selective. If I think it is a good match for my blog and what I believe in, then I go. And so far, that has worked out and lead to other things.

  • http://www.thenerdynurse.com/ The Nerdy Nurse

    I totally have been there. I have thought to myself, why wan’t I approached? Why didn’t I make the cut? or Where the heck are these bloggers finding these great campaigns they are apart of?
    I just keep blogging on and my offers and opportunities continue to grow and improve.

    I hate that you didn’t get to go to the Disney Social Media Mom Conference. I myself would have loved to gone as well. Was not selected either. I was thrilled, however, when I was selected to be a part of the kID Sure campaign since there are some big mommy blog names I’m alongside and I’m truly honored and excited to participate. 

    My blog is such an odd niche – healthcare, social media, parenting, and tech – I wonder if that may be a bit “much” for the traditional mommy blog campaigns. 

    Wish you the best of luck with your future campaigns :)

    • http://littletechgirl.com/ Kris Cain

      Awww. Thanks hon. Yes, we all go through it! Most of us anyway. ;) I am in kIDSure with you!

      And you could be right on the blog niche, but it depends. It does seem like some go for more targeted bloggers than those that write about everything. But no one knows the secret formula! :)

      Just keeping doing what you are doing!

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    It’s so frustrating sometimes because your head knows you shouldn’t take it personally, but it’s so dang hard not to. You evaluate everything you are doing and trying to figure out what you could be doing different. 

    • http://www.thenerdynurse.com/ The Nerdy Nurse

      Exactly. I think the best thing to do is just be ourselves and build our blog as we have. It’s done right by us so far, right?

  • http://carolinecalcote.com/ Caroline Calcote

    I think I’m the Mom Blogging Stepchild’s red-headed cousin.

  • Jendi

    Hang in there! I love your last paragraph – great advice. Same stuff I have told myself many times.

    • http://www.reluctantrenovator.com/ Kim

      What she said! I do think sometimes it’s important not to get caught up in things. I’ve had a similar reaction to not getting selected for things only to realize, once I’d taken a closer look at the opportunity , that it wasn’t right for me anyway. But I sense this was not the case for the first thing you mentioned. That stinks! J I often wind up on the side that helps make selections and I think the selection process is as much “art” and science.
      Like you said, all you can keep doing is moving ahead.

  • http://twitter.com/Justanothermom Justanothermom

    I know which event you’re referring to. I often don’t understand how these things work, either. I have felt left out many, many times, but try really hard to not let it feel personal. Now, if I am left out of an event that IS personal, and friendly invitations, (but not a sponsored one) then I feel horrible.

    I don’t even consider the possibility of Disney anymore. That is such a huge event that it is kind of like winning the lottery, you know?

    • http://littletechgirl.com/ Kris Cain

      Actually it was not an event. You are talking about something recent here in Chi right? Nope… not it. LOL! :) But, not being involved in that did not bother me since I did it last year. It is nice to give some new faces a turn.

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