As I browse around the web and join new mom sites sometimes the questionnaires ask “When did you get started blogging?” and “Why did you get started blogging?” Well, it’s not so cut and dry for me to pinpoint when or why. You see, I had a site back when sites were HTML and you had to go through hell to update your content. Before I even had a site for me, I had a site dedicated to Prince! Yes, I was a huge fan. I had attended a few concerts, so my site had pics or scans of my memorabilia, talked about all the records (yes, vinyl!) that I had, and plenty of pics of the purple one himself!
Before I blogged about having kids, I was on iVillage sharing my struggles with other moms. No one around me in real life understood what I was going through with my miscarriage struggles and a conversation with a friend or family member usually ended in me feeling like crap because they just did not know what to say. But on the internet, it was easy to find a targeted group of women that just got it. They had been there, done that, they understood my feelings, they had success stories, and overall they knew what to say to make me feel a little bit better. Many of these women are still friends today. So getting into blogging was a natural progression as the internet changed.
I did not really start writing a “blog” until 2005 when I found out that I was pregnant with my 2nd set of twins. I didn’t post often, and I always forgot to check the site and make sure that it was running, and check comments! I posted plenty of pics of the babies when they were born, but still did not “blog” much. Eventually, I started blogging about my true addiction, computers and gadgets, and I think I got carried away from there. I did not start blogging to make money.
Back then there was no big hype over mom bloggers, there was no PR type stuff, no giveaways, etc. There were just a bunch of moms sharing their woes with other moms that understood. And for the most part, that still happens. But enter the world of PR and mom blogging has become a whole different animal. And this, of course, causes critics to have something to say. There are of course “haters”. And there are those that think this is a good thing. I think it’s all about balance. I do some paid posts as you see, but I turn down a lot. I only accept paid posts and pitches that fit in with my blog. I know that I have a hybrid blog here, 80% tech geek stuff, 20% mom stuff, so I try to keep that mix with paid posts too! And if I read it and don’t like it, I will NOT post about it! And if I do choose to post about it, I am going to be honest.
There is an article causing a bunch of stink that was published by the New York Times a couple of days ago that made mom bloggers all over cringe. I cringed at just the title which is “Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand”. Wow. Read that and you imagine starving, neglected kids running all over suburban households because Mommy won’t pay attention to them. She actually wrote a fairly decent article that had a couple of good points, but overall the tone was very, very negative and that title… well you see it.
Is it really a terrible thing that tons of stay at home moms have found a way to make some money on the web while still balancing family? I’m not one of these folks. I work a full-time job too! But, I have to admit that do envy those that do! I don’t see that happening for me anytime soon either. I blog for fun. I blog because I like sharing useful info. And if I make some change here and there… good for me! And good for you if you do it too.
[Tweet “Is it really a terrible thing that tons of stay at home moms have found a way to make some money on the web while still balancing family?”]
Danielle Wiley of Edelman Digital wrote a pretty good post that really sums it up in a nice way. “Mommy bloggers” are getting a bad name just because we are moms. The stereotype now is that we sit around conferences braiding each others hair and drinking while talking about the fastest way to make money. In reality, for most of these moms blogging IS their business, so they have every right to want to know how to be better at their business, don’t they?
When dads bring work home, they are committed and career driven. When a mom does it, she is neglecting her family. Hmm…
Can’t we all just get along?
I read that same article and was more than a bit put off by that title! So often SAHMs in general get a bad name if we do anything that seems separate from being home doing wifely and mommy duties! No one ever seems happy! I agree, can't we all just get along?
Following from FFF @ MBC
Hi – thanks for your well written and interesting perspective! I'm fascinated by all the reaction on this article. I read it on Sunday and am only getting around to posting something about it tomorrow – totally behind the curve, I know, but it's been that kind of week. I actually wasn't offended, and thought it was funny more than snarky; I don't think the author was really suggesting that women bloggers are neglecting their kids – I saw it as more of a commentary on the sheer massive phenomeon of moms blogging – but I get where those that are offended are coming from. Anyway, great blog, looking forward to reading more!
Peryl (MBC)
This is why I started blogging — I'm making sense of motherhood and social media 🙂
http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/01/steve-pavlin…
http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2010/01/dagmars-moms…
Thank you for your article!
Best,
Dagmar
Dagmar's momsense
I was there…and I thought it was a great conference..very informative. (I'm actually pictured in the article..second page..I'm the 'blurry' girl sitting beside the girl with the mask!!) I think the article definitely had a sarcastic tone to it. I have three kids, one of them is special needs, and I balance my blog and my family life. I'm sure some moms spend way too much time on the computer, but I am sure there are just as many that have a good balance between the two.
Great post!! Returning the follow from MBC!
I guess it wasn't long compared to some others that I seen since then. 🙂
I was on Babycenter too for a while. I do kinda miss the forums, although I love that blogging is a bit more static and easer to keep up with. Some of those forums moved wayyy too fast! I actually meet Kelby (comment above yours) on Twinstuff.com! That one was insanely busy.
Thanks for commenting! I hope you stick around. 🙂
Robin, I know where you are coming from totally. I would not say that honesty is lacking today… but in some cases yes I'm sure it is. I envy those that still post whatever they want on their blogs, and are not afraid to do so. And is kinda surprises me that these are the big names.
I have taught a couple of blogging classes to teens and and we always tell them “Be careful what you blog about, be careful what you post on FB, etc….”: because potential employers WILL Google you and find info. I have seen a resume discarded because of what a Google search brought up on someone. So, I shy away from being too honest and possibly offensive, because I have a full time job that I really need to keep! But I assume that most of those “big names” could care less about getting a job in a mainstream office, so they can keep on keeping on on their blogs!
Thanks for commenting beautiful!
Thanks much for following. I appreciate it. If you do blog about it let me know. 🙂 Although, I subscribed so I can keep an eye on it.
Thank you Kelly!
I agree with you – different opinions, but no need to get snarky about it! Your post has alot of excellent points, I linked to it on mine. http://kellysluckyyou.blogspot.com/2010/03/now-…
Just caught your blog on a search and I think it's great!! I know why I started blogging but never put it into formal words, just started doing it. Now I just might have to blog it! LOL Great site, can't wait to see more!
Sometimes I really REALLY miss the way blogging was before money touched it. I'm glad for those who've found a way to parlay their sites into money-making ventures (I've made coffee money here and there 🙂 ), but there was a … (searching for the right word….) purity? organic-ness? honesty? that's lacking today. I'm NOT knocking anyone who chooses to monetize, not at all, but it WAS different five years ago, and though the medium has evolved into a platform for so many great things for a lot of people, I can't help but miss it a little.
This is a great post. It is so sad how badly mainstream media misses the point.
I, too, suffered a miscarriage and connected with other moms who went through the same thing on message boards too. My favorite hangout was Babycenter. You are so right in saying it was such a wonderful support group when family and friends just didn't know what to say. That eventually carried over and I started to blog and I've been so amazed at the connections I've made through blogging. It's been really wonderful, so when I read the article in the NY Times I wish it was written with a much more positive spin so other moms out there would be encouraged to start blogging rather than given reasons why not to.
I've been hearing about the article too. I agree with you, it's all in balance. I'm sure if I a negative comment was mad about me, I'd be upset too. As long as Mom's no their purpose, who cares what outsiders think. They're not in our home to know what's actually going on. By the way your post wasn't long.lol